…all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3 :23) 

We all fail often in our lives, in our relationships with parents, siblings, partners, employers, employees; it’s part of the human condition. 

Stephen’s wife, Jane Hawking, says in the film ‘I have loved you…. I did my best’ and we hear the unspoken ‘but I failed.’ 

We not only fail others, but often fail to live up to our own expectations of ourselves. Our individual feelings, weaknesses, temptations all lead us in certain directions, making us desire more and more and take what we should not have. 

The bible calls this sin, a word that has gained unhelpful connotations over time, linked to rigid religious views. Barack Obama says ‘sin is being out of alignment with my values’. And Terry Pratchett states ‘Sin is treating people as things, including yourself.’ 

Sin is a term in archery. It means missing the target; not hitting the centre spot. Our good intentions my leave us with the sense of blame and guilt if we fail to live up to the ideal of a perfect life. 

Jane, thinking of her relationship with Jonathan says ‘self-reproach trailed me like a menacing shadow.’ But she contrasts this with advice from her priest ‘Guilt is the risk that comes from always striving for the highest and the best.’ 

When we find ourselves or see others in this fragile condition of sin or moral failure, we need to recognise that the church is not there to reproach or make us feel more guilty, but to show us that there is a way through. We need to remind ourselves that we are all failures to a greater or lesser extent and so should seek to offer forgiveness and understanding for these frailties. 

Richard Rohr comments ‘ Jesus is never upset with sinners; he is only upset with people who do not think they are sinners.’ 

‘First take the log out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye….In everything do to others as you would have them do to you’ (Matthew 7). 

Of course we need God’s and others’ help to remove that log from our eye, but once it is done we find ourselves free to understand and forgive the speck in our neighbour’s eye, rather than blame.